A leisurely afternoon with a BFF: The little joys

Source: peracollege.wordpress.com

Lunching with my BFF who’s a mom is a rare pleasure. Recently, the stars aligned, and we were able to meet up for a relaxed, leisurely lunch sans kids.

We spoke of times past, of lives present, of who we were and still are, and who we hope to become.

We spoke of the need to break the conditioning we feel burdened by, and live by values we’ve examined and accepted, instead of those we’ve absorbed.

We spoke of the the husbands, hers and mine; of school friends, some recognizable, some not; of children, real or future; of parents growing older; of in-laws; of tugs of modern and traditional sides within us, that push and pull us in different directions.

We spoke of messages absorbed growing up in what was fairly conservative India in the 1990s, of internalizing the expectations of women fulfilling everyone’s needs first, never complaining, happy to support, and allowed to dream for themselves, only when everyone else was taken care of.

We spoke of our selfish dreams, those we wanted, just for ourselves. We wished for time to switch off, to just be, to not care if the house was pretty, or we were, or the work we turned in was perfect. Some time where we could dream, some time where we could work on our dreams.

We spoke with gratefulness for our supporters, who believed we could, who believed we would, and that we should.

We spoke of how the time will never be just right, that now is now, and that we will not miraculously have more time to work on our life’s work tomorrow than we have today.

We spoke of how we will never have it all figured out, how we will never know as we take our first steps in uncharted territory of how that would impact kids and husbands and parents and in-laws. How we would never be able to forward solve every problem. How we would never have guarantees that everything would be okay, and with it, the permission to work on our books and on our selves and on our lives and those of others.

We lamented missed opportunities when we tried to put together the jigsaw, when all we needed was to find the next piece. Of trying to find the map, when all we needed was a compass.

It was the first leisurely lunch date we’d had in years, but just in those few hours, we were connected. We saw, we loved, we supported, and hopefully, moved a little bit closer to doing what we’re meant to do.

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